NEW WEEK, NEW START

So the last week has been pretty much a whirlwind. The craziest part was coming to the realization that I am now well-adjusted. It's... weird.

First there was the news about Carson. Then (immediately) there was news that another friend of mine took a pretty lethal combination of medications, even after I expressly pleaded something along the lines of "YOU ARE AN IDIOT, DO NOT DO THAT!!" He was in no way attempting to hurt himself - I knew this. But he IS an amazingly stupid smart person. You know what I mean?

So that fucked me over for a few hours, bringing back memories of the first time Carson told me he took a bottle of pills and tried to kill himself. Then I was just ANGRY at my friend for being so, so stupid. I honestly did not know people could be that dumb. And then? I was okay.

Why the fuck was I okay???

In the past I'd be dwelling over things and driving myself nuts. This time, with both events, I simply got upset for an hour or two, rationalized every aspect of the situation, divided it into small compartments, and stored them in the little saftey deposit boxes in my mind.

It's strange, to be so... well adjusted.

I also told Jailbait that I have a thing for him. I just didn't do it like you'd think I would. We've maintained status quo, and basically all I got out of him was "I never really considered it [that you'd fancy me]." I'll keep his countdown up, just for a little while. Besides, nothing says if I've got no one else in my life, I can't ask him out when he's legal =P