It takes a day like the 4th of July to remind me that I have no family. I went out to the supermarket to get some berries that were on sale and I saw huge crowds of families out buying last minute items for their cookouts and celebrations today.
It takes a holiday to remind me that I have no traditions and no one to celebrate them with or even start new ones with.
I'm not sad. It's just humbling. It's not like I grew up without celebrating these days - it's just that the people who made the holidays special are all dead now. It's obvious that all of this simply means I need to start new traditions, but how do you do that? You can't make the people you know abandon their long-standing traditions to join a new one with you. And you can't really invite yourself to tag along with them. Though it may not be the kindest thing to say, I don't want to start a tradition of community service on holidays. That would be shooting myself in the foot every year from now until eternity.
I don't often feel like I need to rush my life along, but on days like this I think about how nice it would be to have a family of my own to share the day with. I want so much to have people to cook for and entertain. Hell, even a family of in-laws, or just a boyfriend with a family I can join for a while. But it'll all come in good time. And for now I can take what I've got and be happy. After all, I have a roof over my head, friends who care about me (whether or not they'll spend a holiday with me), a job, a car, and (relatively?) good health. It would be greedy to ask for more.
I just wish I wasn't saving that great book for next weekend!
Information Desk
- DatelessRaine
- I'm just a slightly nerdy girl, and everyone I care about always manages to let me down in the worst of ways. But I'm still quite awesome. The nice lady in the profile picture has my same hair. She isn't me. I'm a photographer with a phobia of being in pictures.
2 comments:
Aw hon, that's really sad :(
I like your attitude but you shouldn't need to have to do that - you should have a family to celebrate with! I say you *should* invite yourself to a friend's family's bash if you can. Other than that, in London they have something called an 'orphans Christmas' - all the people away from their families at Xmas celebrate with each other... is there anything like that there? Can you start something like that?
Oh man, I so have to agree with Dune...invite yourself somewhere. I do it. Not at all bad. You could've came to Austin and we could've done something.
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