Dune: I hate you. Just for today. You've forced me to be... less cold-hearted, and that means instead of completely avoiding my father today I'm going to call him and see if he'll go out to lunch with me.

With memories of his tirades about how stupid, lazy, fat, pathetic, and undesirable (etc) I am still raw, I'm hoping this doesn't turn into my 20th birthday. He yelled at me for an hour that morning, telling me every "flaw" he saw in me and how no man in his right mind could ever love someone like me, ending with "and happy birthday."

If this time repeats like before...

I can't even express what's going on in my head. I don't know myself.