Why boys have problems with smart girls Pt. 2

Complaint: Guys SAY they want a smart girl, but I’m smart and I’m alone!

Yeah. That’s because you’re not afraid to let people know how smart you are. I do this all the time without realizing that people don’t appreciate being reminded I’m the smartest person in the room. Hell, I don’t even know when I do it! But when my friends bring it up, and when I really think about it, I’ve come to see it’s completely true.

Being smart is one thing. Accidentally coming off as a pretentious bitch is another. I think this is a pretty big problem for fantastic girls who have trouble with their weight. We don’t find ourselves physically attractive, and we’ve learned over the years to compensate for this by proving our other good qualities. But what do these qualities tend to be? Intelligence and wit.

While great attributes to have, they can be a deadly combination when presented in excess. Assuming no one wants to LOOK at you makes you develop a crutch, and you lean heavily on having a strong personality and flaunting what you consider your best and defining attributes. You figure you’ll win people over with your charm and awesomeness if you can’t do it with your sexiness…. But you forget that other people want to be the smartest and most interesting, too.

Most guys want to be alpha male without competing with a girl for the title. But what if you don’t want an average guy?

Even a smart guy won’t be likely to gravitate towards a girl who shoves her intellect in his face. He wants someone smart who can teach him new things and who can learn things from HIM. He doesn’t want someone who comes off as a know-it-all. And let’s face it – neither do you. Would you want to be with a guy who is constantly trying to show how fantastic he is? Probably not. The proof should be gradual and consistent, not in your face at all moments.

It’s a terrible feeling to know that the one thing you thought would land you a guy is one of the things that keeps them away. A lot of girls with image issues want a guy to “take it or leave it” and that doesn’t help either. Sometimes you just need to reel yourself in and keep your mouth shut until people know you more. A lot of people tell me they’d take offense in the things I say if they didn’t know me better – so learn your audience and wait for the right time to open the dam and let all of your personality out.