Dear Jay,
I have the overwhelming need to hop on a plane, track you down, give you a hug, and find words to make things just a bit better for you. I have been thinking about you a lot lately, and this post gives me a little insight as to why.
You and I are on a somewhat parallel path, it seems. And right now we're going through similar thoughts and feelings and road blocks. And though I am also inclined to keep things to myself, I reluctantly recognize that being open with good friends, even only in a moderate amount, is rather liberating.
Just before I read your post I was having a conversation with my mother about discontent with my work and wondering if it was actually well suited for me. And though I am technically an artist, I constantly struggle with wondering if I've sold out or given up - because I'm not the kind of artist I am happy being, and I think to myself that I might be better if I would steer my work towards what I like and what makes me happy and gives me creative fuel. There is little creativity in my current job.
I think spending time with people who make you happy - especially doing new things together, is the easiest and best way to jump start a new direction. On the same day you and Dune went to Spain I had friends over... and they didn't leave my house until Saturday evening. It was a gathering unlike our usual, and in its new feeling it brought me a sense of personal rebirth. I now feel light and refreshed, and though I know all of my problems are the same, I know I have renewed energy to move in a forward direction.
So I hope you come back from Spain as refreshed as I've become. If you feel you can't talk to your friends, know that you can always talk to me. And though I do consider you a friend, it's different when someone is removed from you - when they don't know your other friends, and when they don't see you regularly or take part in your day to day life. If ever you need me I will gladly stay up late or wake up early to chat online, or purchase a calling card and speak directly on the phone. Whatever I can do for you, I'll happily make accommodations.
Your friend,
Raine
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2 comments:
You're an awesome gal, Raine. I hope Jay finds his way.. and sees this post
It means a lot to me that you would think so highly of me, and that you would want to do so much for me -- for someone you've not met. I have real trouble with reaching out or even talking about how I feel, but it means a lot to know you're thinking of me.
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