No one ever wants to know the truth

My best friend is...

No.
















My best friend...

No..






















I think that my best friend...

Not that, either.













I can't do it. I can't rant properly. I'm... I CAN rant properly, but I don't want it floating around on the web where anyone can see it. I feel like it would be too hurtful if Ryan were ever to see it. I feel like revenge just doesn't cut it.

Lashing out would be easy. And everyone who would read what I have to say would agree that I am the wronged party. But it's not worth the risks. Not just to Ryan, but to any girl who might read it and think it's about her.

My best friend is ditching me.

She said I was only still her best friend because I've got "seniority" and because I've been like a sister to her for so long. But what she meant to say is that I'm no longer her best friend, and I've been replaced by a boy who is using her for sex.

It's a long, convoluted story of betrayal, lies, and cheating. The worst part is that I wasn't even involved in ANY of that. But I am a casualty. I say what I see, what I feel, what I know is right, and I've been shot in the back.

I thought we were closer than this.

I thought we could tell each other anything.

I thought we could be completely honest and not have it destroy us.

We prided ourselves on those little facts. We talked about them, reinforced them, tested them. There were so many bigger things than a BOY that could have destroyed us, and I was afraid more than once that we'd drift apart because of them. There were moves, living states apart, rarely seeing each other, entering the real world hundreds of miles away from each other... those were the things, if any, to break us apart.

I didn't see this.

It's like being blind-sided by a truck.

And she didn't even tell me to my face. She hinted in person and then pointed fingers online. How would she feel if she ever found and read this blog? You know what, nevermind. Because at this point I don't know her anymore. At this point she'd probably laugh at me, or say something like "serves her right for calling me stupid!"

[insert entire story here.
I deleted it. To protect
the people involved.]



I've lost her because I held a mirror to her face and she didn't like what she saw.

Game over. I lose.
And so will she.