No one ever wants to know the truth

My best friend is...

No.
















My best friend...

No..






















I think that my best friend...

Not that, either.













I can't do it. I can't rant properly. I'm... I CAN rant properly, but I don't want it floating around on the web where anyone can see it. I feel like it would be too hurtful if Ryan were ever to see it. I feel like revenge just doesn't cut it.

Lashing out would be easy. And everyone who would read what I have to say would agree that I am the wronged party. But it's not worth the risks. Not just to Ryan, but to any girl who might read it and think it's about her.

My best friend is ditching me.

She said I was only still her best friend because I've got "seniority" and because I've been like a sister to her for so long. But what she meant to say is that I'm no longer her best friend, and I've been replaced by a boy who is using her for sex.

It's a long, convoluted story of betrayal, lies, and cheating. The worst part is that I wasn't even involved in ANY of that. But I am a casualty. I say what I see, what I feel, what I know is right, and I've been shot in the back.

I thought we were closer than this.

I thought we could tell each other anything.

I thought we could be completely honest and not have it destroy us.

We prided ourselves on those little facts. We talked about them, reinforced them, tested them. There were so many bigger things than a BOY that could have destroyed us, and I was afraid more than once that we'd drift apart because of them. There were moves, living states apart, rarely seeing each other, entering the real world hundreds of miles away from each other... those were the things, if any, to break us apart.

I didn't see this.

It's like being blind-sided by a truck.

And she didn't even tell me to my face. She hinted in person and then pointed fingers online. How would she feel if she ever found and read this blog? You know what, nevermind. Because at this point I don't know her anymore. At this point she'd probably laugh at me, or say something like "serves her right for calling me stupid!"

[insert entire story here.
I deleted it. To protect
the people involved.]



I've lost her because I held a mirror to her face and she didn't like what she saw.

Game over. I lose.
And so will she.

Too Embarassed to be Embarrassed?

So I got an email at 2:00 in the morning telling me I’ve been charged nearly $300 for web hosting… even though I’ve already paid up my hosting costs. Hm. Weird.

Then I get an email 11 hours later. It read:


Hi Raine!

Ack. Through a COMPLETE bumbling on our part, we've accidentally attempted to charge you for the ENTIRE year of 2008 (and probably 2009!) ALREADY (it was all due to a fat finger)!

We're really really realllly embarassed about this, but you have nothing to worry about. Please ignore any confusing billing messages you may have received recently; we've already removed all those bum future charges on your account and already refunded the $296.62 charge on your credit card.

You should get the money back on almost immediately, within a day or two max, and there's no need to contact your credit card company or bank for the refund.

Thank you very very much for your patience with this.. we PROMISE this won't happen again. There's no need to reply to this message unless of course you have any other questions at all!

Sincerely,
The Foolish Billing Team!


Is it odd that I wasn’t even mad? I was glad that their team is as odd as I am. However, after reading the apology I felt there was a grave enough situation to merit my response of:


Hi Fools!

I know I don't have to respond, but you should be equally "embarassed" about your misspelling of embarrassed.

Cheers!
Raine

Today

I have neglected this blog. To make up for everything since I last posted, I will now list all noteworthy events since the new year as though they happened today:

Today I once again forgot to post the photo of my car hitting 100,000 miles.
Today I saw neurons in my visual cortex misfiring for 15 seconds.
Today I shattered a large mirror - on purpose.
Today I cleaned the house, because I could.
Today I tooled around in a wheelchair. Fun!
Today I made fun of cripples.
Today I made fun of the autistic.
Today I organized most of my DVDs.
Today I stepped in super tiny shards of glass and bled!
Today I pulled glass from my foot.
Today I never left the house.
Today I had friends over until 6:00am. Four times.
Today I naturally woke up at 9:00am after 3 hours of sleep.
Today I saved my mom's good china from crashing to the floor.
Today I did laundry and washed my clothes, sheets, pillow cases and EVERYTHING!
Today I resolved to buy new pillows, because mine suck.
Today I decided that yes, I really DO need a good mattress.
Today I cleaned the house a second time.
Today I cleaned the kitchen a third time.
Today I got a haircut.
Today I found my PS2 had broken.
Today I forgot to buy the tools to fix my PS2.
Today I realized my best friend has change too much for me to care about her anymore.
Today was the 10th anniversary of a friend’s death.
Today I drove an hour to pay my respects.
Today I got 953 new Magic The Gathering cards.
Today I built decks with friends!
Today I did a draft tournament and LOST HORRIBLY.
Today I decided to go to New York for visit.
Today I invited my ex to go along, knowing I would only do a day trip with him.
Today I coughed a whole lot.
Today I watched The Sopranos season six.
Today I forgot to go buy “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” seasons one and two.
Today I made a list of all the crappy stuff I’ve done.

Hello, 2008.

These are the things I did to ring in the new year:

New Year's Eve-Eve Party
I have a lot of diverse friends. I am not a "primary friend" to many/any of them, but I am a good friend to all of them. So when it comes to holidays, I am not the person they choose to spend it with. Because of this, I did a New Year's Eve-Eve party, and on Dec. 30th I had four friends hang out, play games, spend my $300 in gift cards to a bar and grill restaurant, and then watch DVDs. We were up until 4am. Then, because Ryan just came into town, we talked until 6am.

New Year's Eve
Woke up at 10am. Hung out with Ryan. Watched a bad movie, made molotov cocktails, exploded them and set off fireworks. We also left an orange traffic cone at an acquaintance's house. We wrote on it: "Happy New Year! Courtesy of your friendly neighborhood stalkers." She went to sleep at 1:00, and I went to sleep at 4:00.

New Year's Day
Gamed/hung out with Ryan and our good friend Red Beard The Pirate. We put on some movies. Ryan went to sleep at 3am, and Red Beard and I talked until 7am. I never went to sleep.

January 2
Played Star Wars Trivial Pursuit with Ryan, Red Beard, and Colin. They were a collective 3-person team, with 3 people in play in different parts of the board pooling their winning pieces together. I still won. Apparently I still have it in me. They had 3 times the turns, three times the people, and often easier questions. But I'm still a Star Wars god =) Went out, watched Star Wars. Ryan slept at 3:00, Red Beard at 5:00, Colin left at 6:00, and I never went to sleep.

Jan 3
...who knows?