Hmm..

Some of my fear about my best friend are coming true, though the circumstances surrounding these events cloud the truth and make it more difficult to pass judgment than it would initially seem.

The first few years of our friendship included every boy I fancied asking Ryan out and bypassing me. Either that, or she’d stick herself in the middle of my friendships with boys I fancied and somehow they’d all end up asking her out on dates. I never blamed Ryan for this very much. Rather, I attributed it to my undesirability.

She’s blonde, blue eyed, fair skinned, a good three inches taller than me… I’m tan, with dark eyes and dark hair and shortness. I was (and partly still am) convinced that fairer girls will always be considered more desirable than girls with an actual skin tone. I know it’s not really true, but my personal experience and observations support the notion. Still, I recognize that my predisposition makes my “objective” observations intrinsically flawed.

TO THE POINT, when I finally did get a boyfriend, I made sure to keep Ryan away from him for months. I wouldn’t even introduce them, because I was sure he’d leave me for her.

Even though she’d never do anything to hurt me, I couldn’t shake the feeling.

Now she’s gone and stolen a guy from another friend of hers. And the circumstances around the whole thing are murkier than a Georgia swamp on a hot summer day. But I keep coming back to the bottom line:

Ryan became fast friends with the boyfriend of a girl she was friends with.
Ryan spent a lot of time with the guy.
The couple eventually broke up.
The girl begged Ryan not to have sex with her recent ex, and whether or not the relationship was really over is questionable.
Within a week Ryan’s gone off on a weekend trip with the guy and has sex with him.

What troubles me is that before this happened, Ryan was a virgin. She said she couldn’t see herself having meaningless hookups, and since she wasn’t in any serious relationships sex just wasn’t an option. She said that as recent as this last month, but somehow she’s okay with sleeping with a guy who is so obsessed with her friend that IMMEDIATELY AFTER they had sex the guy is talking to Ryan about the other girl.



I know it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense while I’m trying to withhold details. But I can’t help but wonder what kind of person sleeps with a friend’s ex… especially so quickly and without remorse, alcohol, or other impairments as factors.

I know she’d never hurt me.

I don’t think I’ll be introducing her to any guys anytime soon.